


Mugged, or: Differences in Opinion

by Kiromenanz



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:07:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26835667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiromenanz/pseuds/Kiromenanz
Summary: Hermione and Severus have very different opinions when it comes to the use of kitchen space.Severus decides it's time to put his foot down.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Severus Snape
Comments: 18
Kudos: 118





	Mugged, or: Differences in Opinion

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a small prompt by Ami, who is wonderful. I hope this is a little fun to read! Not beta-ed, so please excuse possible mistakes.

When Severus opened the cupboard, he was attacked by a mug. 

Only a single mug, this time, thank Merlin. Still, it took a quick nonverbal levitating spell to stop the offending crockery from smashing straight into his face. 

Very carefully, he plucked the mug out of the air.  _ WITCH: Woman In Total Control Here,  _ the mug proclaimed in blinking red and orange letters. He set it back into the cupboard among the dozens of other mugs. They were green, grey, black, blue, purple, yellow, red and pink, tall, small, solid and delicate, enchanted, muggle, and some suspicious cases in between. 

More importantly, they were  _ everywhere.  _

He closed the door with controlled movements. It pressed against the mugs inside as it shut, resulting in a cacophony of clanging and clinking that was going to give him a headache.

He sighed heavily and looked around. 

A multitude of used mugs sat by the sink. Gryffindor-themed, with a picture of the Queen in a dinosaur costume, with a collection of stars twinkling at him. There were mugs on the dining table, on their writing desks – yes, even on his, and one sitting on the shelf in front of the especially questionable dark-arts texts. 

Severus set his own mug down – chipped and old as it was, dependable, having seen him through all of the ups and downs in his life – and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

Enough was enough.

As if on cue, the mug-criminal swept through the door in a whirlwind of hair, snow, and ice-cold air. When she saw him, her reddened face split into a wide grin.

“You’re up! I didn’t expect to see you this early after all that late-night brewing.”

She set a collection of bags and parcels down around the dining table and began to unwind her Gryffindor scarf. 

“Yes,” he found himself saying woodenly. One of her parcels bumped into some of the mugs.  _ Clink clink clink  _ went the mugs. “Listen–”

“Phew, it’s so cold out there! I thought my nose was going to fall off.” A decisive wand-movement towards the fireplace and the flames roared higher. Hermione peeled herself out of her thick, fluffy winter coat. “But Diagon was  _ so crowded _ ! You wouldn’t believe it!” 

“I’m sure,” he said, “Hermione–”

Rubbing her hands together to get them warm, Hermione came over to the kitchen counter and dropped a greeting kiss on his cheek. “Oh, you made coffee! Wonderful, I definitely need that now.”

She opened the door to the cabinet. As if in slow-motion, Severus saw the mugs tilt. They bumped into each other with quite some noise, and one, two, three, the closest to the edge of the cabinet came raining down. 

This time, none of them was quick enough to stop it. Severus snatched his own mug from the counter and retreated, while Hermione only just managed to side-step them. They crashed to the floor with a spectacular smashing noise. 

“Oh dear,” she said and poked at them with her wand. “That’s the third reparo on this one, it’ll be quite porous soon.” She carefully put them back into the cabinet and whirled around. “Lucky I got new ones today!”

“Hermione!”

He was snapping, he realised. He hadn’t snapped at her like this in quite a while, but enough was enough! If he was to live here, the conditions had to be liveable, and some things were just too much to take!

She froze, two mugs in her hands which she had just unearthed from somewhere in those packages. “Yes?”

She had very big, wide eyes. They were very pretty, a warm brown, and some mugs didn’t matter that much, did they? He could just–

No! He had to stay firm on this one, or his nose would end up broken  _ again.  _

“We have too many mugs.”

She was still looking at him. He glared at the fireplace instead. There was a mug on the mantlepiece.  _ You make your own magic!  _ It proclaimed in sparkly letters. It was the one where a potions lab appeared behind the writing on the black mug when you filled in hot water. He quite liked that one. “Specifically,” he made himself say, knowing it had to be done, “you have too many mugs.”

There was a small, scandalised gasp. He looked back at her. Her eyes were, if possible, even wider than before. 

“One only needs one mug,” he said, feeling wooden and a little stupid, “as I have. I don’t need more mugs because you can  _ wash  _ them. They’re not disposable objects, you can use them almost eternally! I don’t see why we have to clutter every available surface with the things when you can just use one serviceable specimen for a very long time.” As if to make his point, he raised his mug, which he was clutching in a tight grip. “Like this.”

Now he was just being inane. He forced himself to shut up. 

Hermione still looked startled. 

“But,” she said eventually, “but collecting them makes me happy.”

Oh, now he just felt like a complete arse. “I know,” he tried for a softer voice. He wasn’t particularly good at that but he thought he did alright, “I know, but we do not have the room for it. You must see how–”

“I got you one, too,” she said with an impossibly small voice. Her hands shook a little when she extended them, presenting him with a simple black mug. It was elegantly formed, with a single dark green cauldron printed on it. It emanated steam which formed the letters  _ Potions Master.  _

“The smoke moves when there’s hot water in there. You said you liked that about the other one.”

Robotically, Severus reached for the thing. It was solid, heavier than he’d expected it to be, and rather large. He wouldn’t have to refill this one quite as often as his old one. 

On their own accord, his eyes looked up at Hermione, who was toeing the carpet with her green socks. She had darned them herself, the other day, because his witch would rather teach herself to  _ darn  _ than walk around with a hole in her sock. 

“I see.”  _ Back to being inane.  _

“You don’t have to take it, obviously!” She said, still not looking at him, “I know it’s not your thing, really, I don’t know what I was thinking, except I got a matching one, see–”

Hers was purple, a single flying feather writing  _ Charms Mistress  _ onto the surface. 

“Sorry,” she said, “it was stupid. You’re right, one mug is more than enough.”

She made as if to take back the mug. Severus pulled it back and cradled it against his chest. 

“Yes,” he found himself saying as he walked to the corner of the kitchen to drop his old, beaten-down mug right into the trashcan, “you’re right, one is more than enough.” 

She rapidly looked from the trashcan to the shiny new mug in his arms. He was holding it protectively, almost like a baby chick. “Are you– I mean. Thank you. I mean. Severus, there was still coffee in that mug you just–”

“Cast an undetectable extension charm on the cabinet,” Severus said as he swept right out of the room, “the next mug that attacks my face I  _ will  _ hex so it bites your nose.”

He slammed the bedroom door behind him and leaned against it. There was a slight smile on his face, as well as a blotchy, almost undetectable blush.

He looked down at the empty mug in his hand. 

_ This one will do very nicely,  _ he thought to himself as he turned it this way and that. 

Now if only he’d remembered to fill it with the coffee he had originally gone to the kitchen for. 

**Author's Note:**

> edit: I'm not good at consistently replying to comments, but I saw all the lovely comments and they made me very happy. I had no idea that this was such a common issue in relationships, but for everyone who goes "huh, I've been in this situation" rest assured that apparently, a LOT of people have 😂❤️. Thank you to everyone who left their experiences on this 🤗


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